I woke and rubbed my tired eyes, watching the world start to come alive as I opened them, never expecting the events of that day to unfold. Waiting, watching for something to come. Something, I knew, must be important.
As the day went on, and I got to my 6th period class, all was normal. I took my test, another easy A. But something changed that day. Something I never expected. "Teachers and students, please excuse this interruption. Teachers you must open and read your email to the class. Again, please read it to your class"
Whispers of what was to happen stirred throughout the class. I saw her face. My loving teacher, I saw the color drain from her rosy cheeks. I saw her place her graceful hand upon her mouth and begin to slightly shake. She read aloud, her voice cracking at every other word. "Dear faculty and staff. We regret to inform the school that she was found, dead this morning. We offer our deepest sympathies to the friends and family of this dear girl."
Dead? No, it wasn't possible. How could she, the one who had flowers growing in the deepest parts of her soul, be gone? I couldn't fathom the fact that one of my best friends, was gone. A mere 14 years old. It was true, yes she wasn't in English the previous morning, but I never imagined this. With tears streaming down my cheeks and falling onto my binder, I sniffled slightly, trying to push back my emotions as to not show the world that now, I was more vulnerable than ever.
The final bell rang, and I sauntered down the hall, as to avoid all people, even my best friend. I couldn't handle it. I shoved my headphones into my ears turning up the music to full. How could this be? How the hell did this happen? We were having a locker fight two days before, how could she be gone? This cant be happening! No!
As I watched others sobbing into their friends shirts, gasping for breath, a breath of her. The girl who everyone knew, not very liked, but kind. More kind than you could imagine. I was angry. Not at her, no, she was the lucky one. She got to go and I didn't. How could she do this to me? I can't live in this damned world without her. I was angry at her, but more towards those who cried, but didn't know why they cried. By now my hands were bright red, almost blistering from rubbing them so hard. How dare they, the people who made her life a living hell, the people who didn't even know her, the people who believed everyone else instead of her, how dare they cry. How dare they.
One week and thousands of unanswered texts to her later, the day came. I sat in the back, the entire chapel filled from the front to the back of the gym. They wheeled her in, no. Not her. A shell of her. Just the body, already drained of everything that used to be her. Two hours and many tears later, the time came for her father to read off the list of her friends. I waited. Oh, there was hers, and there's my best friends. "Thank you to all who came today" wait, what? Where was my name? We were friends for three years they can't forget me it doesn't work that way! They can't do that it's not fair!
I was silent for the next hour. I didn't expect to go to the grave. At least not when everyone else had left and they began the burial process. With her coffin in the wet mud, I threw in my rose. Yellow, her favourite color.
Something strange happens in graveyards. Something changes. It's like a piece of your childhood, your innocence is lost, buried with the memories of someone else. Except it wasn't just a piece of myself that was buried. I was buried.
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